My Donut of Misery: Countdown to D-Day...

Well, It's officially become that time of year already. Yes, I am talking D-Day as in say goodbye to my Husband for a few months. You know what? THIS SUCKS! It ROYALLY SUCKS, IT STINKS, and IT COMPLETELY BLOWS! It seems like only yesterday we had arrived on island and were immersing ourselves in the culture, the food, the island and enjoying our new home together. Then I  woke up one morning and it hit me: "Holy *hit. He is leaving really, really soon." I suddenly realized that the horrible reality of being alone for all of the major holidays including Christmas and NYE was indeed, an actuality. These last few days and weeks have been filled with Mr. Top Gun trying to balance his regular job, dealing with a crying an emotional Mrs. Top Gun, and on top of all that? A lovely trip somewhere in this world very shortly before he flies off to the land that all wives' DREAD thinking about (let alone having their husbands in!)


     *BLAH* on you, Air Force! You are currently NOT a favorite of mine, and you know what else? If you were a friend of mine on Facebook or in any other aspect, I would TOTALLY UNFRIEND YOU! Of course, we would become friends again once you return my husband safe and sound :) However, with all the doom and gloom around here, I have managed to fill my social calendar with Spouses' events until I head home to Texas for the holidays. I have been named the head of the Squadrons' Spouses network/club, and am in charge of a lot of things... did I just get in over my head? Hmmmmm... On the bright side, I have the opportunity to be able to go home for the holidays. A lot of other wives do not, and I am blessed to do so. I have incredible friends here, a gorgeous home, a sweet little dog and pretty much anything else I could want or need- but despite all of my luxuries and blessings? I still feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest, and I am being handed it while it is still alive and beating.


 I have learned to cherish and appreciate each and every moment I have left with my husband, even if those moments consist of eating dinner together, driving to the base, or just lying in bed with him next to me. I don't know what I am going to do with all that room in our huge bed when he leaves... I can only stuff so many pillows on his side and around me to form a 'nest,' and even that only helps a little bit with the pain. I am trying to look on the bright side though. When I feel myself losing it, I just think of all the amazing things we have planned and waiting for us when he comes home, and it eases my heartache a bit. I have some of the best friends here- I'm talking stop and drop everything for you kind of friends, and all of them are ready to be there for me when I drop him off to say goodbye. My very close friend, J whose husband is also gone *boo* has even taken off of work to make sure she is able to be with me the first few days and nights if I need someone to stay with me in this big old house! 


 I know with time my heartache shall fade, but I shall still miss Mr. Top Gun and yearn to see his handsome face. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I believe that- but I wonder this: Since I pretty much loooove Mr. Top Gun with ALL of my heart and soul, and I happen to think he is the most incredible man on this earth, does that mean I could possible love him more? I suppose my heart has a lot more room for loving him then, because we both are going to have enough time apart that we may quite possibly fall in love all over again.  Please keep Mr. Top Gun in your prayers, and keep his crew in your prayers as well. 

                 * I love you, and I will see you soon!!!*