It's like an episode of "Locked Up Abroad" here!

Japanese Police Stations are not friendly places. They do not look nice or pretty, there are no vending machines for you to get a Coke, they have odd furniture for you to sit on (namely something which resembles your Great- Great Grandpa's rocker that happens to smell like pee and look like it had been out in the rain for eons.) Oh, and the smell in there... moldy, mildew, stank! It was raining and they had ALL the windows wide open too, which probably wasn't helping the smell inside one bit. As I entered the building, I proceed to take of my Chanel shades and place them in the case. No biggie right? WRONG. I manage to not only spill half of my water bottle on the floor, but drench my foot and the sunglass case with cold water. I swear the men were just wanting to die laughing! But, nobody even looked at me....


I am then told to pick up a BLUE phone in front of me and say hello to the english speaker on the other end. I do this, and a few minutes later the Japanese interpreter comes out and greets me and leads me back to the interrogation room. Now, for those of you who have seen the Locked Up Abroad series on T.V., you know what I am about to describe... A padded, 3 by 5 room with a small window, one desk, a tiny laptop and printer and three small chairs. The padded walls were yellow, and had god knows what kind of mold growing and leaching out of them! I am asked to sit in the smallest chair ever and thus begins the questioning... 


Here are a few of my favorite questions they asked me: 1- Where were you raised? (Military, so all over?)
2- You were raised by your Mother and Father together? (Umm, no I was raised by Penguins??) 3- You attended: Elementary School, Middle School and High School and graduated from all three levels? (Yes, yes and yes, but WHY elementary and middle school are important??) and last but not least... 4- Your place of birth was in Texas, USA? (Yes, and in San Antonio, TX- USA.) This one had to be explained to them, as did the reason why I spoke another language and why I went to College...


I apparently must look like a terrorist who speaks German, wears jeans, diamond stud earrings, and heels and Chanel glasses to an interrogation appointment, right? SURE! I honestly think the Police 'interrogator person' was trying to figure out why I looked the way I did. Two very stiff hours later, I am told we are finished and I can leave. I get in the car and break down. Mr. Top Gun is hours away from leaving me, and he HAD TO WAIT IN THE FRONT FOR ME FOR TWO FRICKEN' HOURS, SITTING IN AN ODD AND NASTY CHAIR. Seriously, Japan? Can you please give us both a break already! Let this deployment start and end now please :(