Not Me Monday!

"Not Me Monday"

Today, I did NOT...

* I did NOT wake up and frantically rush to get Keely to the Vet, only to find out they are CLOSED for inventory.

*I did NOT call the clinic and sound a little bit snotty.

*I did NOT get caught in a rainstorm while walking from the BX, and while running yell out 'Oh Hell!'

* I did NOT talk on my cellphone while driving home... totally illegal in Japan and huge fines follow if you are pulled over.

* I did NOT answer my phone only to find out some crappy news from Mr. Top Gun.

* I did NOT hear Mr. Top Gun tell me he needed ME to reschedule the delivery of our household goods and the pickup of government furniture, because the Air Force changed some things on him...

* I did NOT have to rush home and frantically search for the numbers for TMO and FMO and the Japanese moving company.

* I did NOT hang up on a rather snarky mouthed Sr. Airmen after said person failed to answer my simple question, because I called 5 minutes before they were supposed to leave for the day!

* I did NOT speed back to the base to get the the housing office, only to find that the doors were locked- an HOUR before they are supposed to close.

* I did NOT run back to my car and burst into tears.

* I did NOT proceed to call the housing office from outside there doors, and demand that they let me in. (For the record, I WAS let in!!)

* I did NOT spend the next hour sitting at a very obliging Airman's desk, using the phone to call FMO, TMO and the Japanese moving company.

* I did NOT call the moving company and ask them what kind of Japanese Holiday requires them to shut their business for three days, after I was told Saturday was the only day available for re-delivery.

* Mr. Top Gun totally DID NOT call me on my cellphone from his plane, just to make sure I was Ok before he took off :) LOVE HIM!!

* I did NOT prepare a baked ziti at 10:00 at night.

So, what did y'all NOT do today?

Amawori Liquor- It's all right with me!

Here is what I was doing on Saturday evening...

Add some freshly squeezed Mango Juice...
And the local Okinawan Liquor, called Amawori. Apparently, my palate is QUITE fond of this rice liquor and I had not problem downing three or four drinks with Mr. Top Gun last night! The juice made the drinks seem 'not so strong,' that is, until I decided to stand up and walk down the stairs. Suddenly, I felt really warm and HAPPY! Mr. Top Gun got a kick out of seeing his 'prim and proper' lady a little tipsy, and very, very chatty! In all, we had a fabulous date night complete with a wonderful dinner (yes, I had sushi) and a fun, boozy filled evening. We even came home and watched a movie and shared some milk and cookies!
My newly found Okinawan drink: Amawori Liquor! Add some fresh juice, and you're good to go! Mrs. Top Gun is now a fan of this!

Goings on at Casa De Top Gun

These pictures go along with part of the craziness at Casa De Top Gun. Read on to find out how they fit into this mess!

*The Nigiri Sushi we ordered* I recognized three types of fish here. The rest I did not touch. Mr. Top Gun's tummy later paid a price for eating the 'unknowns.'

*Sea Urchin* Not cool with me. Not eating this.
*Horse Meat?* Yes, they had RAW HORSE MEAT on a sushi menu!!

This week has been absolutely hellacious for me, and I am relishing in the fact that I have a dinner date with Mr. Top Gun tonight (NO FELLOW FLYBOY FRIENDS TAGGING ALONG,) and I shall be imbibing in some fun and fruity island drinks! Luckily for us, all of our fave restaurants and bars are within a stones throw from our home, so no worries about the drinking and driving issue. Oh, and in case y'all didn't know the legal BAC limit here in Japan is... wait for it... .03! Yes, that means that if I even smell a freakin alcoholic beverage let alone have a sip of one, I am legally drunk and can be arrested by the Japanese Police or Security Forces! Nice. I was also informed during a random conversation with Mr. Top Gun, that due to some weird chemical reaction that occurs in our bodies when we drink milk, that if you are given a breathalyzer it will show that you are drunk. So now I have to be afraid that my morning cereal and milk or my afternoon or evening glass of milk may very well be my ticket to jail time! (Ok, so I'm told there are formalities with this, but I still find it to be completely ludicrous.)

In other news, my HOUSEHOLD GOODS are here!!!! We received an e-mail late Thursday evening informing us of the arrival, so they are scheduled to be delivered on Wednesday. The weekend kinda screwed up an earlier delivery, and they require a full days notice to come and pick up the loaner furniture... gay. So, Mr. Top Gun and I shall be sleeping on the air mattress Tuesday evening, which should be a total blast *sarcasm* I am just so happy to finally be able to decorate my big old house with all of my gorgeous furniture and furnishings! Oh, and possibly needing to purchase some more new curtains and storage units for the bathrooms- this house has TONS of windows, but the bathrooms in Japan don't have cabinets or vanity type sinks, so I must figure out a way to store our towels and toiletry items. The other news in the household has been Keely and her throwing up... It seems that a few days ago while I was walking her, she decided to start chowing down on the grass in the dog park. No biggie right? Dogs eat grass when their tummies are bothering them and then usually they throw up whatever was bothering them- nope, not Keely. She ATE A FREAKIN BEE! Apparently when she ate the grass, she also ate the little bee and so when we came home Mr. Top Gun notices a few minutes later that her upper lip is swollen- not a biggie right? Well wrong again.

I suppose the bee sting and all the grass and whatever else she had in her stomach decided to turn into three days of her constantly retching and throwing up, and in turn had me running up and down the stairs to the laundry with her soiled blanket. And all of this happens on the one day that Mr. Top Gun doesn't come home until way late in the evening, so of course by this time I am bitchy and tired from cleaning up puke and washing laundry all day! Keely is finally feeling better today, and she is back to eating her Science Diet kibble like normal now. And last but not least, Mr. Top Gun and I had our first experience at an authentic Japanese Sushi Bar last night. When I say authentic, I mean like a hole in the wall place where no Americans are eating, nothing but older Japanese people, no english menus and nobody speaks english... fun night!! We proceeded to sit down on the tatami mats and begin ordering, and then I notice this on the menu: HORSE MEAT SASHIMI... I immediately lose my appetite and tap Mr. Top Gun on his side to show him. He responds with: "Awesome. Are you gonna order it?" I just wanted to leave, but we were eating with friends so I sucked it up and ordered a tuna roll. It was good, but I think it was "too Japanese" for our tastes... I think the fish had literally just been killed and then sliced and put into my roll within seconds! Mr. Top Gun ordered a sampler, and when his came out it looked like the ocean had been slaughtered on his plate. He had salmon, tuna, eel, shrimp, octopus, scallops, squid, red snapper and some other fish which NONE of us could identify. We left full of fish, and only paid 26.00$ for the meal- which was very authentic, but I think we realized that we prefer the sushi bars here where the Japanese chefs are used to the American style of sushi, and still put their own twist on it. We both came home with bellies that later felt a little sick and urpy, so I don't think our stomachs are quite used to the water around here yet! Needless to say, a return trip is not in our foreseeable future. (No offense to the chef or the Japanese, but horse meat is not cool!) That is all for now. I'm sure I'll have a boatload of crap to blog about next week, so be ready to listen to me bitch, rant, complain, and generally let y'all know what is going on. Oh, and decorating means pictures of my house for y'all to see!! I know you are all so excited :)

You know you are in Japan when you see these...

A few of the signs I have seen around our town...

In case you wanted to give your finger up as a snack...

A sign on the Metro bus. Apparently it stands for the following:

1. A person with a hurt ARM can take your seat. I think it looks like an erect penis!

2. A person with a child can take your seat.

3. A woman who is pregnant can take your seat.

4. A person with a HURT LEG can take your seat. Nope, this is not a pregnant person who is pooping. WTF?

A sign posted on one of the public beach areas by our house

*Don't swim while you are drunk*

Another sign on one of our beaches...

*Don't be topless!*

How to properly use the restroom. Yes, it really was in the stall.
Who goes fishing for poop? And who lifts a leg like a dog?

I have a Va-Jay-Jay, therefore I am NOT equal?

Yesterday, my house was filled with five little Japanese men, who literally descended upon my home within a mere 4 seconds of ringing my doorbell. Two of which scaled my four story home after being lifted up into the air by a crane/box type thing, and the other two ran up my stairs, into my living room and immediately began hooking up all types of cables, wires and routers. What was the purpose of this chaos you ask? Well, Mr. Top Gun and I opted for the uber fast fiber optic internet and TV package and this takes a month for them to set up... yeah, a freakin month for some cables and wires! I shall now digress from this tangent and discuss the real subject of the post. As you know, in Japan women are not viewed as equals to their male counterparts. They do not have doors held open for them (never seen it happen yet,) men do not stand close to a women who is not their wife/fiancee, and the DO NOT SPEAK to the woman of the house unless the MAN is home?? Yep, that's right! and it happened to me yesterday.

Mr. Top Gun was not home, so I ensured I finished my errands early in the day so I would be home when the men showed up for the installation. 2:00 rolls around and I hear a knock at the door, so I buzz them in via our fancy intercom system :) The Japanese guy WILL NOT come into my home. In fact, when I went downstairs to the first floor to let him in, he STEPPED AWAY FROM ME! He was literally speaking to me from across the yard- in the rain. I ushered him inside, where he proceeded to first place his shoes outside, in the rain... I brought them in and he thanked me and ran up the stairs. As they are running around my home, I realize nobody is speaking to me and when I would go down to the laundry room or walk around the house (where they were working,) they would scatter and suddenly go outside. So, I decide the best thing for me to do is start baking a chocolate pie for Mr. Top Gun. Hey, at least I would be in the kitchen and OUT of their way and hopefully their view... NOPE. Didn't work either!

By this time, I am beyond frustrated at the lack of communication, the language barrier (nobody spoke any English,) and not being able to get a hold of Mr. Top Gun. After leaving about 500 voicemails on his cellphone, Mr. Top Gun calls me and immediately says this: "I am on my way home now. What the heck is going on. Are you ok? Your messages sound like you are going to crack." YES I AM GOING TO CRACK. So, come home please? After the phone call, I am pointed at by one of the workers and then he points at the wall... what? Apparently he needed an extra power grid and cord, which would have been a simple thing to ask me for right? No. Instead I finally decipher that he needs one of two things, so I again frantically call Mr. Top Gun and tell him to go to the BX and get the power grid and cord because I can't speak to them anymore. As usual, my incredible husband saves the day and arrives shortly after with the goodies, but not after I am looked at like I am crazy for offering them bottled water- which, I took downstairs to them and naturally as they see me walking towards them they ALL BACK AWAY. Thank GOD Mr. Top Gun came home in time right?

I'm not finished yet. This story gets better! As I am waiting for Mr. Top Gun, the lady from the internet company calls me and tells me we need to come to their office to be assigned a password for our network, and she will not do this over the phone- at all. I tried to be nice with her, but I admit to raising my voice and telling her she was 'absolutely ridiculous' for asking me to do this! With goodies in hand now, Mr. Top Gun shows the men the power grid and cables and they start plugging things in- Magic! He then tells me he is going to drive down to the internet office and get the password set up, and he'll be back soon. At this point, he tells one of the men that he is leaving to get a password and then this happens: The guy inside our home RUNS over to the contract papers which have our info on it and points at ME and shakes his head. He then points at Mr. Top Gun, points to the papers and points at me again. I finally realize he is ASKING MR. TOP GUN'S PERMISSION TO ALLOW ME TO SIGN MY NAME ON THE WORK ORDER COMPLETION FORM!!!! Because his name was listed as the primary account owner, I could not sign anything without his oral permission. Oh, and all of this nonsense was because I have a va-jay-jay.

I want my new HD TV and Keely tries out for the Olympic Running Team...

Mr. Top Gun has completely spoiled me. I admit it, and I am not afraid to say that yesterday I told him this: "Our TV from the states is not here yet, and it won't be here for another month. I need a new TV so I can see my shows when the fiber optic cable gets installed on Monday." His response? "Ok. Let's go look at the BX, and you pick out the one you like." **SERIOUSLY** So, yesterday we found this 42' beauty of a TV at the BX and Mr. Top Gun said I could have it!! Naturally when I go to get an associate, I am told they sold the last one last week and have none in stock. UGH. Now I felt really guilty and crappy because Mr. Top Gun had told me to pick whatever I liked and now they are out of stock. Plus, he had work to do and I held him up looking for a non existent TV. We left the BX upset (ok, I left upset) and wondered what to do.

Well, I was up at the crack of dawn this morning with Keely for her walk- which turned into a mild disaster. It seems that she decided it would be a good time for her to wrangle her little and now hairless neck out of her fancy jeweled collar, and SPRINT off from the dog park and from me!!! This little dog is all muscle and she is like a bolt of lightning when she runs, and I'm pretty sure she has ambitions to be a star in the Olympics. Imagine a crazy looking American woman dressed in white gaucho pants, a tank top (which is falling off,) flip flops and her hair on top of her head running at full speed trying to get her dog... Yeah, that was me this morning and I was the freak of the neighborhood and the American who let her dog get loose. Whatever! Turns out my running after her made it worse, and once I stopped and let her go she ran right for home and was sitting on the front porch when I arrived (dripping with sweat and really, really pissed off!!) Once that crisis had been solved, I moved onto figuring out how to GET MY NEW TV- that is after I told Mr. Top Gun what happened and this is what he said to me: "What did you do that for. How did she get loose. You did something right?" WHAT THE HELL??? So, I get dressed and decide to go back to the BX and demand that our name be placed onto the waiting list for this TV which I so very much need/want right now. I suppose today was my lucky day, because they had already ordered a huge load of them a month ago, and they are going to arrive on Thursday!! So, I placed a hold on mine (oops, OUR) TV and WE get it on Thursday!!! I should go now and start dinner and finish dessert for my wonderful Mr. Top Gun who indulges me oh so much :)

A visit to the Churaumi Aquarium and Mike's Tex-Mex

Mr. Top Gun and I decided to take a road trip to visit the Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium this weekend, and we were glad we went! After the 2 hour drive (courtesy of the world's SLOWEST Japanese drivers,) we finally arrived were greeted by a SEA of Japanese tourists... Seriously, I knew this aquarium was muy famous, but this was ridiculous to me! Needless to say, the trip was a huge success and we were able to see some of world's most gorgeous sea life and creatures, not to mention the HUGE whale sharks in the tanks (3 of them) and the gigantic sting rays, sharks, tropical fish, baby sea turtles, sea snakes, eels, dolphins, manatees and so much more!

After arriving home we decided that sushi didn't sound so appetizing anymore for dinner *GASP!* I actually decided to try the new Tex-Mex restaurant up the road from our casa over my beloved sushi... something is wrong here! The food was fabulous. And coming from a little Mexican girl who grew up with this cuisine and knows how to cook it, I was uber impressed with the flavors, textures and authenticity of my meal. The chips are homemade, as are the tortillas and the addicting and utterly divine salsa. My cheese enchiladas were made with white cheese *yum* and covered with a deliciously light yet tasty sauce, and the rice and beans weren't too bad- although I think I could offer my assistance to them :) I'll leave you with a few pictures of our adventure!

Mr. Top Gun and his candid photos. He is sneaky!

The HUGE stingray!!
Gigantic Whale Shark!!

Being goofy in the car at the ATM

This is what my home looks like! Tropical everything!