CakeWrecks!

I am a fairly boring individual today. The supposedly gorgeous Texas weather has decided to become rainy, foggy, and drizzly, thus making me want to curl up in bed with a warm cup of hot chocolate! So, what does a person do when they become bored on a day like today? Go to http://www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com/, of course!!

I have taken the liberty of pulling a few of my favorite wrecks for y'all to see:


                                              
                                                     Wow. That's all I can say!

You're 12 today! Dream big!!

Better yet? Start them even earlier!!

Umm... Cosmo, can we have a talk?

I love Cosmopolitan Magazine. I have been reading it since Junior High, and it has consistently been one of the magazines I look forward to getting in my mailbox each month (well, aside from my Texas Monthly!) Fashion tips, sex advice, cosmo confessions- what's not to love, right? So, imagine my surprise when I go to pick up the latest issue from HEB here in Texas yesterday (yes, I purchased it since I am not in Japan and near my APO box,) and upon first glance I see this...

"Your Hoo-Ha Handbook??"

Get a Healthy, Sexy Vagina????

Wow. I thought for a second that I had mis-read the cover, so I went back for a second look... Nope. They actually said that?! Now, I am by no means a prude- trust me on this people, I love me some lovin' and if Mr. Top Gun were here he would probably have some story to tell y'all- but alas, he is not. I understand the importance of yearly GYN check-ups, and how crucial it is to maintain a healthy V-zone- but I don't think I need to be told by a magazine how to "Get a Healthy, Sexy Vagina..."  First of all, your v-zone is well, your own private area and second- since when have vaginas been "sexy?" Since when has it become the norm to glamourize your v-zone?? We all have them, we love them and that should be it. I appreciate the health tips, etc, but I surely don't want to know how to get a sexy vagina.

        Alright, I digress.

Yes, I have the best husband. It's true!

This morning I woke up feeling like complete and utter crap. You know how when you wake up in the middle of the night with that "oh god, I am getting sick feeling?" Yeah, that was me last night. I swear my fever and body aches came out of nowhere, and I spent the hours from 1-5 a.m. tossing and turning in an attempt to find a comfortable sleeping position. How did that go you ask? FAIL. HUGE FAIL. I finally passed out around 6:30, and woke up around 2:00 to the doorbell ringing- like crazy!

Normally, I would have ignored it but I figured it was probably the Fed ex man delivering some of my presents for family, and that answering the door would be a wise choice. * I happen to have a very deep love for my Fed ex man here during the holidays* So, I open the door looking like death and I am pretty sure the poor guy wanted to run the hell away from the house (I looked that scary- trust me...) In my sick and groggy fog, I am handed the most fabulous black and gold box with these letters written on it: FTD. Omg... who the hell is sending me flowers? Mr. Top Gun never has time to get on the slow ass internet over in the god forsaken place he is at, so I figured they may be from my Mil and Fil... 

I open the box, and find these:
                                               * Picture taken in my Nana and Grandpa's House*

*My room at my Nana and Grandpa's house*

Wow. The dashing, debonair, and dangerously handsome man that I call my Husband happened to find the time to connect to the slow ass internet over there, order these stunning roses and send them to me! I also happened to receive the most take your breath away, leave you in tears card from him tucked inside. Now, if that isn't enough to make a girl feel like a million bucks and suddenly get over her sickness, then I don't know what is! Too bad he wasn't waiting outside behind the bushes right? Oh well, this deployment is over 1/2 way OVER!!

San Antonio Riverwalk with the family

Last night, my family and I headed down to the Riverwalk to see the lights, have dinner and just plain enjoy the beauty and splendor of my hometown!! And in true Mrs. Top Gun fashion, TONS of pictures were taken and shenanigans abounded...


                                      Yes, I am the new face of San Antonio!
  (I totally jacked the stand while the person was gone)

My Daddy and I

Yes, that is my Dad...

My Brother and I

My Family (minus Nana and Grandpa)

TEXAS!!

Me enjoying a prickly pear margarita

My Dad wasn't too impressed with my Mom's Dirty Martini... Think it shows much? ;)

A Texas Christmas

"Model Pose," according to my Dad. My Brother took this pic!

Mr. and Mrs. Top Gun got elfed!

Oh, the things you do when your Husband is deployed! And yes, I totally sent this to him and his crew over there...

                   

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Pick up lines in the bank...

Oh, the things one can get into in the Bank! Yesterday, I was driving around running errands and shopping for Christmas gifts when I realized I needed to run into the bank and pull out some money- money kinda helps pay for things right? So I realize that it is 3:30 and my branch located off base was crazy busy- no way was I going to fight people in line and driving through the ATM wasn't an option, since I needed to withdraw a high amount. Guess someone is going inside... blah... I decide the least crowded branch would be the one on the Air Force Base here, so I drive onto the base and am happy and surprised to see virtually nobody there. I go inside, fill out my information and proceed to get in line. This is what ensued afterwards...

I GOT HIT ON BY AN OLD RETIRED COLONEL! 

Here is the conversation:
  - I walk towards the line, and notice an older gentleman standing besides one of the counters. It appeared that he was finishing up his check writing, so I stood back and allowed him to go in front of me. THEN IT HAPPENED...


Me: "Please, go right ahead Sir."Me: "You know what? Normally I would have taken offense to such comments,  but since I have a deployed Husband I welcome your flattery."

OM (Old man): "Oh, no. You go right ahead beautiful."
Me: "Well, I appreciate that. Thank you so much."
OM: "If I let you go ahead of me, then that means I am able to stand behind you and look at you for longer." *****OMG!!!!!!!!**** There is more... " Cause you look real good!!' *AHHH*




OM: "Well, you are gorgeous and It's a shame your Husband is not here."
Me: "Yes, it is. Holidays are difficult, aren't they?"
OM: "Not difficult right now, because I have you to admire."The conversation seemed to last forever, but was probably more like a few minutes. By the time I got to the teller, he was in tears from laughing!! The old man waited for me to finish up with my transaction and then asked me what my husband did... "He flies." That's all he got from me, but he proceeded to tell me he was a retired AF Colonel, blah blah... Funny day in the bank? YES!! He was not creepy, but I was just so shocked to hear this old man being so blunt and honest about how he felt about me. Oh well. I suppose I shall take any and all compliments directed towards me at this time- since Mr. Top Gun isn't here to give them to me ;)

When Mr. Top Gun can't be in Texas...

What do you do when your husband has been 'stolen' away from you by the Air Force? Well, if you are Mrs. Top Gun, you go crazy with internet shopping!!! I have logged hours and hours of shopping (do I get an award for this?) and the sad part about it all? I can't even send the actual presents I have ordered for Mr. Top Gun over there!! We will have a mini-Christmas when he returns home, so yes, he will get his gifts ;) In the meantime however, I have decided that he deserves to have a little taste of Texas shipped to him (ok, and his crew- because he always shares... sweet man!)  So, in the next few days Mr. Top Gun will be greeted with a package full of these:

                                                                 TEXAS TAMALES!


                                                       These are the beef tamales

Texas Salsa for his tamales

These are the chicken tamales

These are the pork tamales

And the Chocolate dessert tamales!!

I am guessing that when he gets this box full of yummies, he will probably run to his room and hide it! He says his crew goes nuts when he gets a package, because they all know I pack awesome stuff inside for him. Awww... I miss him!!